Fitness

Bas Rutten O2 Trainer

$59.95 Amazon »

Who wants to wheeze like a fat asthmatic chasing down the ice cream man? I do! I do! Temporarily anyway. MMA master and onetime UFC Heavyweight Champion Bas Rutten developed his O2 Trainer to build strength in a part...

SHAY Fitness Stool

Although I always say that one of my favorite things to do is sit on my ass, photographic evidence here suggests that Nina Havermans' SHAY work-out stool is going to necessitate my refinement and qualification of that...

Bike Pump Seat Post

Sold Out Amazon »

It's like sitting on air. Literally...yet...somehow minus the perceived comfort of actually sitting on air. Because although BioLogic's PostPump 2.0 has converted a high-capacity bicycle tire pump into a bicycle seat...

Loopwheels - Integral Suspension Bike Wheels

$590 - $2,300 loopwheels »

People out there lucky in the sense that they know how to ride a bike but unlucky in the sense that doing so jars their spines and brains and generates great discomfort in the crotchal region, say hello to Loopwheels...

LIT Extreme Sports Stat Tracker

$499 LITPro »

Like other fitness monitors on the market, LIT can track common athletic pursuits, such as walking, running, and swimming. But it changes the game of stat hoarding and analysis with its integration of detection tools...

The 100 MPH Bicycle

And by 100 MPH Bicycle, Donhou Cycles really means Bicycle That Has Peaked at 60 MPH on the Open Road but Could Theoretically Make It to 100. I'm not sure how that theory was developed. I think it's how fast frame builder...

ONDA Cycle

ONDA terms itself a recumbent stunt bike/trike that can also be used to commute to work. Commute to work? What am I, the imp from Game of Thrones? Cee Lo Green? I'm not willingly placing a 3-foot-high version of myself...

King of the Ring Fitness Arcade Game

Nexersys calls their King of the Ring arcade game a "virtual fighting ring" but one look at all those full-contact pads and the surrounding cage and I am 95% sure that I would sustain non-virtual injuries while using...

Paratrooper Tactical Mountain Bike

$895 Montague »

Montague collaborated with DARPA to develop its Paratrooper, a high-speed, all-terrain tactical mountain bike that folds at the turn of a lever into a 3' x 3' pack in less than 30 seconds. Obviously, it was specked for...

The BikeSpike

Discontinued

Maybe if theft hadn't plagued the rough & tumble town I grew up in, I would have learned to ride a bike when I was little. Genetic blessings of coordination and proprioception could have contributed to my cause too. Kids...

Poweriser Extreme Sport Leg Extensions

$258 - $403 Amazon »

Extreme sport leg extensions. I'll say. Maybe you could strap on a pair of Poweriser stilts and bound around like a bunny rabbit, leaping up to 6-1/2' in the air, taking 16' giant steps, and running 100m sprints without...

The Hydrosleeve

Discontinued

Water bottles for the arm may not be a novel concept, but the Hydrosleeve is the first water bladder I've seen that caters to the upper body's favorite appendage. For runners and people seeking a way to kiss their massive...

The $30,000 Lamborghini Bicycle

$32,505 BMC Switzerland »

The 50th Anniversary Lamborghini Edition impec is the bike P. Diddy or Kanye West would buy if they took up cycling. Which is to say if they learned to ride a bicycle. Oh the comedy that would ensue the first time Puffy...

Amiigo Fitness Tracker

$99 - $119 Amiigo »

What if you had a tiny device to track your reps, sets, duration, speed, and intensity? Would you work out more? Would you work out harder? Yeah, me neither, but I'd use it to barter with a strong, fit person who actually...

LUMOback Posture Sensor

$149 LUMOback »

While I would prefer a device and app that cures the back pain caused by my poor posture, I suppose a combo that encourages me to improve my posture to preclude back pain is...well...a distant second since it basically...

Pee-wee Herman Cycling Suit

$149.99 Podium Cycling »

When I first heard about the Pee-wee Herman cycling suit I thought I had been proven wrong in my contention that nothing on earth could make cyclists look any more ridiculous than they already do. Seriously, does any...

Hyperice - Recovery of the Future

$79.99 - $119.99 Amazon »

When I feel a tinge of pain during my engagement in taxing pursuits of physical prowess, such as owning the squash court and attending Zumba classes, I calmly remove myself from the action--no matter how many feisty Latinas...

Treadmill Rock Wall

I feel like the Treadwall--a rock wall on a treadmill-style conveyor belt--might be the ultimate example of something that appears to be really easy, but in practice makes 80% of its users look like complete assholes...

Leather Head Handmade Football

Dude, I kid you not. It is August 9, and 2012 NFL Preseason has already begun. In fact, as your eyes skim these words, Green Bay and San Diego are in the midst of what is surely a dazzling spectacle of backup QBs boning...

Big-O Stunt Skates

Despite their being shaped like big Os, I'm not sure about Big-O as a name for these stunt skates. I'm pretty sure if I were to try them, the words "Big O" would not be at the forefront of my mind. I'd call mine Big I...

Kilo Glow-in-the-Dark Bike

$349.99 - $399.99 Amazon »

Come on, Mom, please? It's a safety precaution. I mean, what's $400 when it could mean the difference between me cruising home fully visible and unscathed, or unseen and dumped at the ER with spokes impaling my leg and...

Portable Sauna

Discontinued

Although it appears to be a handy portable torture device for captured spies or fraternity pledges, what we actually have before us is an Infrared Sauna for at-home use. Replete with two, 600-watt heaters purported to...

Fangs Mouthguard

Discontinued

Kick ass in the image of MMA Heavyweight Champ Andrei Arlovski, NBA Champ LeBron James, or Blood-Draining Champ Dracula. TITLE's Fang Mouthguard is made from PolyShok, a material they claim has 150% more energy absorbency...

R2D2 Water Bottle

Discontinued

My preparations to defend the Galactic Republic during thrice-weekly light saber sparring sessions in the parking lot under I-5 were working up a wicked thirst. A thirst the water from those plebeian store-bought plastic...