Gear

You want tidings of comfort and joy? Well here you go: Merry Christmas, you old Golden Douchebag, you...

If Justin Nevins' Cryptex Security Boxes are out of your justifiable price range, Stanislav Tatarinov has another take on the Cryptex theme that might appeal to both your aesthetic and fiscal sensibilities: a Cryptex...

Behind Door #1 we have...a full-length pantry of Combos and Cap'n Crunch! And Behind Door #1-1/2 we have...a dozen classic NES cartridges, a coupla Koosh balls, and VHS cassettes of the best porn from my childhood (circa...

I'm not much of a singer but I do enjoy going to the karaoke bar and singing Clarence Carter's smash hit "Strokin'" for all the ladies every now and again. Seems like I'm always one upped by a stocky guy in a flannel...

Your Paper Mate Fine Point Rollerball, my Lord. Yeah. That's how all men of my stature should be handed their pens. Though maybe I would have my bowing-in-reverence Executive Knight hold an UZI Defender tactical model...

Buying a specialized electronic neck massager is way cheaper than buying a whole electronic massage chair. And although I am sometimes tempted to tell my mama to go right ahead when she threatens to wring my neck just...

GateKeeper is a small keyfob that automatically locks your computer when you walk away from it and unlocks it when you return. The GK's USB Lock plugs into a PC or Mac port, users carry its Key on their person, and the...

A self defense money clip. Huh. Is that a good idea? Seems like an attacker might consider your money, like, his primary reason for attacking you, and if he got it all tidily stored in a lightweight clip of durable aluminum...

The Keewifi router boasts the performance and security of standard password-protected routers without the frustrating configuration processes and assigned passwords. When you want to browse or stream from a device, or...

This jar of Uranium Ore--or, as I like to call it, Instant Mutant Candy--contains real samples of NORM, Naturally Occurring Radioactive Materials. Each container's label lists its contents' Counts Per Minute activity...

It doesn't have a black leather or bamboo casing like Motorola's Moto Hint wireless earbuds, but this Invisible Bluetooth earpiece still maintains comfort, voice clarity, and complete discretion. Its lightweight, ergonomic...

Leave the gun. Take the cannoli. We'll wash it down with my flask of Remy Martin...

Who's got Santa and Daddy Warbucks shelling out for Christmas this year? DJI's newest and, they say, baddest drone release is fresh for the taking this holiday season. The ready-to-fly Inspire 1 uses its quadcopter propellers...

My friend Ronnie has some of these Bose noise-canceling headphones. He says their QuietComfort power and stamina hold up flawlessly to crying babies on airplanes and log-sawing bedmates and especially visits from his...

Naomi is like one of those girls who is incredibly hot and arousing, but also kind of stony and completely unapproachable. Dare speak to her, or even look at her for one beat too long, and she'll crush your nuts like...

The Delta is part of William Tell's collection of concept bows. A bow-crossbow combo, it maintains the lightness and portability of a manual bow, but adds a draw holding device and 5-pin sight and laser sight for crossbow-style...

Hey, here's a swell way to convince children with 0 artistic talent that they can be the next Van Gogh. Make sure there are trophies on hand too for when the WaterColorBot completes their first masterpiece for them...

Recon's 2013 Red Dot Design Award Finalist is the first 180-degree fully folding mouse. This wireless origami pointing device measures just 9mm thick when flat for easy and crush-free carrying in a laptop bag, purse...

Sculpting 3D bears and puppy dogs out of foamed milk to float in a latte seems like a lot of trouble to me. Trouble that will be ruined the instant the jackhole I went to all the trouble for decides she is going to drink...

They're trying to say that no one will ever suspect an escape knife is nestled within this 50-cent piece, but I think I would suspect that anyone who still carries around a 50-cent piece is up to no good, hidden blade...

Ladies, I've finally found a way to pass along my number without making it awkward for you to ask for it, or awkward for me to walk up and hand it to you on a pre-printed calling card that I then watch you throw into...

The WiPry-Pro from Oscium is a 2.4 GHz spectrum analyzer with the ability to view SSIDs and RSSI. In other words what was once reserved for the AT&T's bearded white dudes and nerdy Indians whose selfies just hit a hundred...

According to vendor Viking Horns, the quick rundown on their hand crank siren is as follows. Color: Dark Gray. Sound Output: 115 decibels. Construction: Metal housing. Operation: Manual hand lever. Ideal Use: Getting...

I know there are a few problems with this Sriracha keychain. Like in addition to enabling me to deliberately put Sriracha on my breakfast burritos and Philly cheese dips on the go, it's also going to enable me to inadvertently...