I decided to do a burger product compilation for 2 reasons: 1) I just heard September 18 is National Cheeseburger Day, so Happy Cheeseburger Day! Here's a bunch of cheeseburger-related merchandise! 2) Now that Impossible Burgers and Beyond Meat and lab-grown meat are getting ground into our daily...

Bob Ross Happy Little Tree Mints

$6.45 Amazon »

This time, Bob Ross' Happy Little Trees are here in a reign of terror. Prepare your bad breath to die in a peppermint assault!...

Make Your Co-Workers Hate You Pen

$5.99 Perpetual Kid »

Never has there been a more aptly named product than this Make Your Co-Workers Hate You Pen. See, it's a pen, normal in every way, except for the clip at the end, which is a pair of mother F'ing nail clippers!...

Anatomical Brick Man

Discontinued

Hey, LEGO my funny bone! Put it back in my left arm! The anatomical Brick Man is part of Jason Freeny's popular Funny Anatomy series in his 4D brand. Here the designer toy maker takes a classic image, the LEGO minifigure...

Rotofarm Compact Anti-Gravity Kitchen Farm

$683 - $785 Bace »

You'll need to harvest - and eat - a lot of herbs and lettuce before the Rotofarm pays for itself, but this soil-free vegetable garden for your kitchen has more to offer than just its bounty. Designed as a circular farmbed...

Selfie Skeletons

$13.20 Michaels »

As the great Valley Girl once said, "Ugh, gag me with a spoon!" These Selfie Skeletons, a Halloween party decoration that simply mimics what everyone at your Halloween party will be doing, come to us home decor brand...

Guinea Pig Halloween Costumes

$3.99 - $6.99 PetSmart »

Isn't being a guinea pig enough? Storing food in my ever-moving puffy cheeks, providing cuddles upon request, and generally looking adorable? Now I have to wear a Unicorn Halloween costume to please you too? If you wanted...

Grampa's Weeder - Stand-Up Weed Puller

$33.95 Amazon »

Grampa invented his Weeder in 1913 to protect his back and knees during all the crappy yardwork Gramma made him do. Over a hundred years later, Grampa's Weeder is still around, and still helping men (and women) old and...

Banana Hammock

$59 - $148 DutchWare »

DutchWare Doles out the puns with their Banana Hammock, a camping companion the Pennsylvania-based outdoor brand says combines creativity and functionality so you can "enjoy extreme comfort and possibly a little laughter...

Dart Zone Pro MK-1 Collector's Edition Blaster

$179.99 Dart Zone »

The forthcoming Dart Zone Pro MK-1 Collector's Edition Blaster doesn't look as cool as Nerf's new Elite Titan CS-50 Blaster, but when it comes to performance, it looks like all the boxes get their check. Range: 150'...

Slow Rebound Lovers' Pillow

Discontinued

"Slow Rebound Lovers' Pillow." It sounds like a next-gen Liberator Wedge. Or some sort of consolation companion for the broken-hearted? But seeing the pillow for what it really is makes sense too: a domed memory foam...

E5: What Is This Thing?

$25.38 Amazon »

Welcome to the fifth edition of What Is This Thing?, a photographic feature of a product whose purpose isn't obvious at first glance. I'll include a few hints below to help you make a thoughtful guess. Or you can join...

St. Joseph Home Sale Kit

$8.69 Amazon »

I'm not Catholic, and mean no disrespect, but what the Coldwell Banker is a St. Joseph Home Sale Kit? Is this for real? Do people who bury a wee little statue of St. Joseph in their yard really sell their house faster...

Uncle Goose Periodic Table Building Blocks

$40 Amazon »

Periodic table building blocks from Uncle Goose? Uh, I don't think so. Number one, Uncle Goose died in 1986. A tragic accident during an attempted ejection from an F-14 fighter plane. Number two, even when Uncle Goose...

LULA Nap Furniture

What time is it? Doesn't really matter, I'm sure I could use a nap. LULA Nap Furniture is a concept design from Lithuanian artist Gaudute Zilyte. Using foam as her base, Zilyte's goal was to create natural-looking, yet...

Pig Paper Towel Holder

$24.99 Amazon »

My wife is going to love this pig paper towel holder almost as much as she loves calling me a pig when I eat. Pig, hog, cochon, oinker - her cruelty knows no limits!...

PopSockets PopThirst Drink Holders

$15 PopSockets »

Phone clutching fans of PopSockets PopGrips, prepare for PopThirst to further change your life of secure and ergonomic holding. PopThirst koozies with integrated PopGrips are the company's newest design, and the first...

Wine Lover's iPhone Case

$7.99 - $15.90 Amazon »

I wouldn't have thought red wine pairs so well with Apples, but by the looks of this iPhone case for wine lovers these two pillars of fall harvest are the perfect match...

To me, the only good thing about fall is it isn't winter. Long about Halloween, though, fall becomes nothing more than the Evil Cold One's harbinger, so it's just as bad. Maybe you're right there with me. Or maybe you disagree. Either way, there are a few things that come with the changeover from...

EMS Butt Toner & Hip Trainer

Discontinued

I smell a ssssssnake. In oil form. Please don't buy an EMS butt toner and hip trainer with the expectation that it's going to give you an ass like the lade in the above image. Actually, don't buy an EMS (that's electrical...

Hello Oral Care Activated Charcoal Infused Floss

Sold Out Amazon »

Hello Oral Care's line that's supposed to sell us on their Activated Charcoal Infused Floss is "Fall black in love with flossing." Um. Huh. How to unpack that?...

Cuisinart Sauce Pot & Basting Brush Set

$11.99 Amazon »

This Cuisinart issue might seem too bastic to merit an entire feature, but: 1) grilling season isn't over yet, and there's lots of good meat left to BBQ and slather with sauce in the backyard; 2) tailgating season is...

Foldable Telescoping Rake

Sold Out Amazon »

What blooms in the fall? This foldable telescoping rake from Professional EZ Travel Collection is here to make a tedious, back-breaking job fast, easy, and super fun...

Jellyfish Keyboard Keycap

$49.99 - $89.99 Velocifire »

Velocifire is adding the striking (literally) jellyfish to their collection of striking (figuratively) resin keyboard keycaps. Those into the elegant tentacled swimmers, or marine life in general, can pre-order a Jellyfish...